Today I was interviewed by Terri Craig of the Houston chapter of eWomen’s Network. She has a radio show in which she interviews successful women. We had a really nice chat about my background and how I got to be where I am today – doing what I love! We also talked a little about the work that I do and at the end I gave a few words of advice to those of you still out there in jobs you’re not happy with, wondering if that is all there is to life.

Here it is: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/realwomenrealresults/2010/12/09/the-terri-craig-show-real-women–real-results-1

I’d love to hear from you what you think of it!

Love and Blessings to all of you!

Rev. Tricia

Head over to www.charterforcompassion and join us!

One of my missions in life is to help spread peace on earth – I believe that the way to do this is to learn about people who are different from us and not judge things we don’t understand or agree with. This is a big reason why I became an Interfaith Minister.

The charter for compassion was created with the idea that we need more compassion in this world and towards each other. I hope you will find it important enough to sign along with the rest of us!

Peace and Blessings to all of you!

Rev. Tricia

It is said that nothing ever dies – it simply changes.  Maybe that’s true – but then what? Change???? Most people struggle deeply with the idea of change.  Companies have entire departments devoted to “managing change” so that employees can deal with it effectively.

Resistance to change comes from a fear of the unknown or an expectation of loss. The first aspect of a person’s resistance to change is how they perceive the change. The second aspect is how well they are equipped to deal with the change they expect.

How much a person resists change is determined by whether they perceive the change as good or bad, and their expectations of how severe they expect the impact of the change to be on them. In order to ultimately accept change, we need to have adequate resilience and excellent coping skills.

However, not only is change inevitable, but it is required if you are to be successful in business and in life.  How can you ensure that when change is required, you handle it skillfully and with grace? Here are four tips for dealing with change when (not “if”) it comes into your life:

Ensure that you have a quality support system
It is so important during times of transition that you have a good support system around you. This could be family and friends, or a business mastermind group. Depending on the type of transition you are going through, different types of groups might prove to be more effective than others. It is imperative that you have some sort of mentor.

Look for the silver lining in the situation
Every cloud has a silver lining, as they say. Even if it appears that the world is falling down around your ears. Take some time and look at the situation. See what can be found that is positive. For example, even if you lose a job, perhaps that job wasn’t the best fit for you and now you are free to pursue a long-lost dream or some other opportunity that will make you much happier.

Continue your spiritual practice
This is not the time to quit praying, meditating, journaling or doing whatever it is that centers you and brings you peace and serenity. If you don’t already have a daily spiritual practice, then please start something before you find that you need it! It could be something as simple as taking five minutes each morning before you get out of bed to quiet your mind, breathe deeply and review your plan for the day; or write whatever comes to mind in your journal for 10 or 15 minutes each morning or evening. Just five to ten minutes each day will provide you enough peace of mind to get through any of these obstacles, with at least some amount of grace.

Create a structure to support you
When all else is failing or seemingly In chaos around you, it is important to have a structure to cling to. This can mean having a simple daily routine that you keep to each day. For example, getting up, meditating, having breakfast, etc. at the same time each morning. In the evening, spend a few minutes relaxing before eating dinner and settling in for bed. Whatever your routine is, stick to it! This will provide an important framework and touchstone amidst the change and confusion that may be going on externally.

As you can see, while change may be inevitable, it doesn’t have to be traumatic. Keep your life as simple and structured as possible, with downtime and spiritual connection included and you will find that “This too shall pass” – you will soon be acclimated to the change that has occurred and it will be smooth sailing from here on out!

Rest In Peace

by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
inspired by the poems of Thich Nhat Hanh

I am a World Trade Center tower, standing tall in the clear blue sky, feeling a violent blow in my side, and
I am a towering inferno of pain and suffering imploding upon myself and collapsing to the ground.
May I rest in peace.

I am a terrified passenger on a hijacked airplane not knowing where we are going or that I am riding on fuel tanks that will be instruments of death, and
I am a worker arriving at my office not knowing that in just a moment my future will be obliterated.
May I rest in peace.

I am a pigeon in the plaza between the two towers eating crumbs from someone’s breakfast when fire rains down on me from the skies, and
I am a bed of flowers admired daily by thousands of tourists now buried under five stories of rubble.
May I rest in peace.

I am a firefighter sent into dark corridors of smoke and debris on a mission of mercy only to have it collapse around me, and
I am a rescue worker risking my life to save lives who is very aware that I may not make it out alive.
May I rest in peace.

I am a survivor who has fled down the stairs and out of the building to safety who knows that nothing will ever be the same in my soul again, and
I am a doctor in a hospital treating patients burned from head to toe who knows that these horrible images will remain in my mind forever.
May I know peace.

I am a tourist in Times Square looking up at the giant TV screens thinking I’m seeing a disaster movie as I watch the Twin Towers crash to the ground, and
I am a New York woman sending e-mails to friends and family letting them know that I am safe.
May I know peace.

I am a piece of paper that was on someone’s desk this morning and now I’m debris scattered by the wind across lower Manhattan, and
I am a stone in the graveyard at Trinity Church covered with soot from the buildings that once stood proudly above me, death meeting death.
May I rest in peace.

I am a dog sniffing in the rubble for signs of life, doing my best to be of service, and
I am a blood donor waiting in line to make a simple but very needed contribution for the victims.
May I know peace.

I am a resident in an apartment in downtown New York who has been forced to evacuate my home, and
I am a resident in an apartment uptown who has walked 100 blocks home in a stream of other refugees.
May I know peace.

I am a family member who has just learned that someone I love has died, and
I am a pastor who must comfort someone who has suffered a heart-breaking loss.
May I know peace.

I am a loyal American who feels violated and vows to stand behind any military action it takes to wipe terrorists off the face of the earth, and
I am a loyal American who feels violated and worries that people who look and sound like me are all going to be blamed for this tragedy.
May I know peace.

I am a frightened city dweller who wonders whether I’ll ever feel safe in a skyscraper again, and
I am a pilot who wonders whether there will ever be a way to make the skies truly safe.
May I know peace.

I am the owner of a small store with five employees that has been put out of business by this tragedy, and
I am an executive in a multinational corporation who is concerned about the cost of doing business in a terrorized world.
May I know peace.

I am a visitor to New York City who purchases postcards of the World Trade Center Twin Towers that are no more, and
I am a television reporter trying to put into words the terrible things I have seen.
May I know peace.

I am a boy in New Jersey waiting for a father who will never come home, and
I am a boy in a faraway country rejoicing in the streets of my village because someone has hurt the hated Americans.
May I know peace.

I am a general talking into the microphones about how we must stop the terrorist cowards who have perpetrated this heinous crime, and
I am an intelligence officer trying to discern how such a thing could have happened on American soil, and
I am a city official trying to find ways to alleviate the suffering of my people.
May I know peace.

I am a terrorist whose hatred for America knows no limit and I am willing to die to prove it, and
I am a terrorist sympathizer standing with all the enemies of American capitalism and imperialism, and
I am a master strategist for a terrorist group who planned this abomination.
My heart is not yet capable of openness, tolerance, and loving.
May I know peace.

I am a citizen of the world glued to my television set, fighting back my rage and despair at these horrible events, and
I am a person of faith struggling to forgive the unforgivable, praying for the consolation of those who have lost loved ones, calling upon the merciful beneficence of God/Yahweh/Allah/Spirit/Higher Power.
May I know peace.

I am a child of God who believes that we are all children of God and we are all part of each other.
May we all know peace.

I just wanted to share this beautiful video created by several Interfaith Ministers from different seminaries. Remember what we can do together!

Remember to keep peace in your heart!

Love and Bliss,
Rev. Trish

Beloved

May we learn to open in love
So all the doors and windows
Of our bodies swing wide
On their rusty hinges.

May we learn to give ourselves with both hands,
To lift each other on our shoulders, to carry one another along.

May holiness move in us
So we pay attention to its small voice
And honour its light in each other.

~Dawna Markova

In any spiritual path one follows, inevitably, the idea of letting go rears its head. Why is it so important? Why is it so difficult? We can face this conundrum in a myriad of ways. Not only on our own path, but also when dealing with others  – for example when we are dealing with other people, we must approach them free of expectations and requirements; in many forms of meditation, we are asked to let our thoughts go as they appear; in counseling sessions, we must let go of preconceived projections and outcomes.

What are some of the things we need to let go of? Well, the list is infinite, but here’s some food for thought: shame, guilt, fear, anger, bad relationships, expectations, grief, resistance, dependency…

And through all of this letting go, the mind is clinging with fierce determination to what it knows. “The devil you know is better (safer) than the devil you don’t!” we exclaim. The dangerous unknown lurks in front of us like an abysmal hole. The purpose of the mind or Ego is to keep us safe – that part of ourselves will do whatever it takes to accomplish its mission of keeping us safe from harm – and what could be more unsafe than the unknown or change? However, a full cup cannot be filled with something new – it must be emptied first.  Let go!

If we can allow ourselves to open up with grace (or without, as the case may be) and trust to the unknown and something different, what we find is a whole new world of options and possibilities. The Divine has more in store for us than we can imagine for ourselves, but our job is to have faith and let go!

The question is how? How can we let go when our “monkey mind” is clinging tight to its vine? There are 5 simple steps to easing into faith and “letting go and letting God”:

1.    Label that part of yourself that is afraid. Give it a name and make it as real in your mind as possible. This gives you something to focus on.

2.    Let it express its fear through journaling or meditation.

3.    Speak to it gently as you would a frightened child. Don’t dismiss it – it will only cry louder!

4.    Get silent and still so that you can hear the still, small voice within – this is what will tell you your next step, if any.

5.    Breathe! It is so important during these times of change to remember to breathe.

By giving voice to your fears, you allow that voice to know it’s being listened to. Only then can it begin to be comforted. Then the monkey can finally let go of that vine – that’s the only way you’ll be able to catch the next vine – much like a trapeze artist, in order to catch one trapeze the artist must let go of the one they are holding and trust that the one they need will be where it needs to be when they let go.

Remember that when a window is closed, a door is opened. Go ahead, close that window! Let go and live life!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is owner of The Blissful Soul, an organization dedicated to healing and helping people live in peace and joy with themselves and others: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com.

Conflict is a normal part of life, and while it is definitely uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. It can be an opportunity for personal spiritual and emotional growth as well as for strengthening the relationship it is occurring within.

What exactly is conflict? Conflict appears when our needs, opinions or perceptions clash with someone else’s needs, opinions or perceptions. Our ego becomes threatened, and we try to protect what we believe to be right and wrong, our opinion about what should happen next or our sense of entitlement to get what we want.

Many times this feels to us like a personal attack. Many of us develop responses to these attacks as children – this is simply the ego attempting to keep us safe. So then even as adults, our natural instinct may be to attack, to run, or to stick our head in the sand and ignore it.

These responses feel comfortable to us because that is what we know; but, at the same time they are not a positive experience.

This really isn’t an unusual response to conflict – most people would rather not deal with it. However, the benefits can be dramatic. So what are some things we can do to at least handle conflict more skillfully, so that both partners consider it a “Win”; and even better, we experience a strengthening in our spiritual and emotional growth?

Practical tips for dealing with conflict with family members, friends and co-workers, including the following:

1. Focus on the positive.

There is usually a benefit that can be found in this conflict – the “silver lining” so to speak. It may clear the air of confusion or incorrect expectations; it can also help you determine clearly the next steps that need to occur.

2. Find something that you both agree on.

You might think there isn’t anything, but there is. It might be a small part of what’s going on, but it’s there. Make sure to find it.

3. Take ownership of your part in the conflict.

Most likely there is a part of the conflict that is yours; it’s highly unlikely that there is no part of this that you can be accountable for – own up to it.

4. Active Listening

This is probably the toughest step. Much has been written on how to do active listening. The bottom line is to truly listen to the other person while keeping you mind open and without judgment or thoughts of what you are going to say next.

5. Express Needs.

Conflict is usually occurring because perceived needs are not met. It is important that each party lay these needs out on the table so that there is transparency and understanding of what each person needs.

6. Reach Understanding.

Once the above steps have been done, it will be much clearer how to proceed. By this point, often a solution has already come to the surface or at least the next step can be agreed upon.

In a romantic relationship, conflict can lead to divorce. Between political factions, differences can lead to war. But when these conflicts are openly acknowledged and addressed, it can be a powerful catalyst for growth and healing and can lead to creative solutions that deepen intimacy and strengthen bonds between people.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is owner of The Blissful Soul, an organization dedicated to healing and helping people live in peace and joy with themselves and others: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com.

This is a poem that has been going around for a while. I thought it might be good to post here as a reminder…

What Does it Mean to Be a Minister?

by James Dillet Freeman

It means to make yourself small so that others may feel large.

It means to make yourself a servant so that others may feel their mastery.

It means to give so that those who lack may receive.     

It means to love so that those who feel unloved may have someone who never rejects them, someone with whom they can always identify.

It means to hold out your help to those who ask and deserve help — and also to those who do not ask or deserve it. It means always to be there when you are needed, yet never to press yourself on another when you are not wanted.

It means to stay at peace so that those who are contentious will have someone to whom they can turn to stabilize themselves.

It means to keep a cheerful outlook so that those who are easily cast down may have someone to life them up.

It means to keep faith and to keep on keeping faith even when you yourself find little reason for believing, so that those who have no faith can find the courage to live.

It means not merely to live a life of prayer, but to turn your prayers into life — more life for you, more life for those to whom you minister.

It means to be God-centered and human-hearted, to involve yourself in humanity, and to keep your vision on divinity — and so draw forth in all around you the human form divine.

It means to share in the great moments of life – in birth and sickness and marriage and death — and at all times, whether of crisis or of celebration, to bring comfort and a blessings and, above all, a sense of a presence that sometimes we cannot see and of a Meaning that often we overlook.

This is what it means to be a minister of God and a minister to humanity.

I hope I can strive to be a minister!!

Peace and Blessings!
Patricia

Today would mark the 102nd  birthday of Peace Pilgrim, the woman who walked across the US, She walked over 25,000 miles from 1953 until her death in 1981. Her goal was to walk until people learned peace. In her words, she vowed to “remain a wanderer until mankind has learned the way of peace, walking until given shelter and fasting until given food.”

One of the things I really love about her is that she has a very similar philosophy to mine – that is, that peace begins at home. Not only at home, but with yourself – inner peace is the source of world peace. Can you imagine if everyone on the planet attained inner peace?

Her life and work showed that one person with inner peace can make a significant contribution to world peace.
What an amazing testament to Trust and the power of a passion and following your purpose!

“This is the way of peace: Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love.” – Peace Pilgrim