If your current financial reality is far from your ideal, the first step is letting go of all shame, blame, and judgment about your situation. The way you let go is by being with those feelings when they come up, accepting where you are without self-incrimination. While many of us try to numb our emotions with food, excessive spending, or other addictions, when we’re willing to just sit with our feelings without trying to push them away, they lose their power over us.

If you want long-term financial sustainability, you need to meet yourself exactly where you are and find a compelling reason to change. When you explore what you really want for your life, you will find your compelling reason in your dreams and desires.

I’ve spoken to many people who ask, “How can I even think about my dreams and desires when I have a mountain of bills to pay?” My response is that if you do what you’ve always done, you will get what you’ve always gotten. Therefore, if you keep focusing only on bill paying, then that is all you will ever create. It’s important to shift your financial focus, even as you continue to pay your bills, to where you would like to be, to your dreams and desires.

First, look at your monthly expenses, your cash outflows. It’s about bringing consciousness to your spending, consciously choosing where you want your money to go. Today many of us spend on things that were important to us in our past and no longer serve us for our desires today. Here’s a simple example. I have a client who loves movies and chose to subscribe to all the cable TV movie channels, which cost her about $140 per month. As she began to look at her monthly expenses, she realized that she only watched eight movies a month and that it would be less expensive to watch them “on demand” and pay per movie instead of subscribing to the movie channels. This small shift saved her about $50 per month, and she is now putting $25 towards paying down her debt and $25 into her saving account to build a reserve in case she loses her job.

Once you look at the money going out, compare it to what is coming into your checking account each month. Have you come up with a positive or negative number? Remember, money is currency. The word currency comes from the root word current. What does a current do? It flows. Do you have a positive flow or a negative flow?

The second step is to categorize your expenses into three groups:
1) Paying for your past choices

2) Spending to support your present moment

3) Saving for your future

What percentage of your current income are you spending paying for past choices? If you are like many people, you are spending most of your current income paying for past choices – car loans, mortgages, credit card payments, student loans, etc. How can we happily live in the present moment when we are constantly paying for our past, let alone even think about planning for your dreams and desires for your future?

Create Financial Space
The solution is to begin today to create more financial space in your life. Even by taking very small steps, you will start to empower yourself and create the space into which abundance can flow.

1) Look at your monthly expenses and zone in any areas of cash outflow that are not a priority for you today. Estimate the total spending you can eliminate from your budget each month and intentionally shift those dollars to:
• ⅓ paying off more debt
• ⅓ spending on lifestyle. (This is money you can spend on items beyond the necessities of clothing, food, and a warm place to sleep. It’s up to you to prioritize your desires. For example, you can decide you want to spend an extra $50 per month on shoes, entertainment, or dining out, or you can put the money into a vacation fund.)
• ⅓ investing for your future (retirement accounts, 401Ks, savings and bonds, etc.)
2) Become your own bank! When you finish paying off a large loan, such as a car loan, intentionally take that dollar amount each month and direct deposit it into a separate savings account that is only to be used for your next car purchase.
3) Be proactive with your credit card debt. Go to a web site such as www.bankrate.com or www.creditcards.com to look for offers from credit card companies that will allow you to transfer your balance to a lower interest rate – ideally to 0% interest. You may also want to consider credit union loans.

Should I Save Money or Pay Down my Debts?
A frequent question I receive is whether it’s better to first pay off all of your debts before you start saving money. From a purely financial perspective, the interest you are paying may be more than the interest you could earn on your savings or investments. In this case, you may decide to not save at all and only pay down debt. However, I have found those who stick to this strategy only keep recreating their debt because when an emergency happens in life and you have no emergency reserves, what are you going to do? Yes, you will charge it!

Creating true abundance is about empowering yourself and no longer being a victim of your financial circumstances; it’s about taking charge and getting in the flow. If your interest is higher than what you are making in your savings account, shift this money to a 0% credit card, or refinance your house. If your credit score is too low to do so, consider hiring a company like www.veracitycredit.com to assist you in cleaning up your credit reports. You can also visit www.Transunion.com, www.Experian.com, or www.Equifax.com and refute the negative items on your credit reports yourself.

Once your credit is cleaned up, then shift the debt to better rates. In deciding how much to put into savings, it’s important to do at least something, even if it’s only $10 per month. The key is to begin to shift your financial energy. Then, every time you get a pay raise or bonus, decrease your expenses, or pay off some debt, take at least ⅓ or ½ of that money and apply it to your savings or investments monthly. You’re making a conscious choice and acting upon it. Be sure to make this savings “automatic” using some kind of direct deposit that transfers your money directly from your checking account to your savings or investments. If you don’t, you may sabotage your good intentions and end up spending instead of saving. Position yourself to be “lucky” by paying yourself first.

Once you begin this process of creating financial space in your life, you will begin to reclaim your personal power. Name your dreams and desires and invite them to fill the space you have created. By putting these financial strategies into action, you can begin living the life that you want today.

Kiva was formerly a Sales Vice President with a major investment firm managing a territory that generated over $100 million in sales annually.  Although the investment business was definitely a boys club, Kiva found a way to succeed with grace, humor and feminine strength.

She is currently enrolling women in the moneyWISE! Mentorship Group, so that you can have the accountability, support and tools to “Start Where You Are” and achieve financial success on your terms. For more information visit www.moneywisementorship.com.

Location: Spectrum Center, Houston, TX

Suggested Donation: $20

This once a month Women’s Circle will provide a sacred and safe space to experience the power of the Feminine and your personal connection to that strength and Divine birthright.  The focus of the group will be to offer practical and spiritual support for women in their everyday lives.

Women of all ages and all spiritual paths are welcome. Bring a friend and make this Circle part of your life. Women have gathered in sacred, healing circles for thousands of years. Reconnect to the essence of your Being.

This group will meet once a month 7 PM – 9 PM at Spectrum Center and is open for you to come each month or whenever you feel like it.

2011 Dates and Topics of Discussion:

January 26 – Meet and Greet and Discuss what we want from this group in 2011

February 23

March 30

April 27

May 25

June 22

Please feel free to bring a friend and a snack to share afterward if you like. We will begin sharply at 7 PM and the circle will go for approximately an hour and a half. Afterward, we will drink tea and eat light snacks in community.

While you can show up that evening, it is preferable that you RSVP since it helps me to prepare. If you are planning on attending, please send me an email at: patricia@theblissfulsoul.com.

As I mentioned yesterday, the “theme” I chose for this year – 2011 – is “I am Enough”. I chose it because I feel that I (and I know I’m not alone) have a tendency to believe that we somehow need to be “more” than we are in order to be successful or move forward or follow a dream or create something. I put off starting my business for years because I didn’t have it perfectly formed in my head – Sheeesh! I STILL don’t have it perfectly formed!

And I can’t count how many classes, courses, certifications, seminars, etc. I took and received before I saw my first coaching client when, in reality, I would have been just as prepared after my first certification course – the way I could have gotten better faster would have been to get experience from clients as opposed to another class. However, I had felt that somehow, I wasn’t enough as I was and just ONE more class was going to make me Perfect.

It doesn’t work that way – if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s to take “imperfect action” – you will get much further, much faster  and improve more quickly by doing so. Overcome the idea that everything had to be perfect or complete before it can be deemed “OK”. Be gentle with yourself. The house is clean enough, you have run around the track enough for today, the kids are dressed well enough, the supper tastes good enough, I own enough stuff, … you get the idea – it can be applied to just about anything.

As I was searching the web for quotes or pictures to add to this post, I came across the I Am Enough Collaborative – a group of women bloggers who came together and wrote about this very topic. I especially like the idea of the Bare Minimum Game from Jen Lee.

Notice throughout the day, how often the principle of “enough-ness” can be applied. And then draw up a nice bubble bath and rest your weary bones – you’ve done enough for today.

Today I was interviewed by Terri Craig of the Houston chapter of eWomen’s Network. She has a radio show in which she interviews successful women. We had a really nice chat about my background and how I got to be where I am today – doing what I love! We also talked a little about the work that I do and at the end I gave a few words of advice to those of you still out there in jobs you’re not happy with, wondering if that is all there is to life.

Here it is: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/realwomenrealresults/2010/12/09/the-terri-craig-show-real-women–real-results-1

I’d love to hear from you what you think of it!

Love and Blessings to all of you!

Rev. Tricia

Last night I attended the Interfaith Women’s Ramadan Iftar hosted by Brigid’s Place and Christ Church Cathedral. This was a wonderful dinner in which a variety of women came together to share a meal and discuss both commonalities and differences.

It began with a short program in the church. Opening remarks were made by Muffie Moroney, the representative from Christ Church Cathedral. This was followed by a short history of the iftar presented by  Maida Asofsky.  She shared how the tradition began as a Seder with Jewish women heading each table and in the past few years the iftar was added. Kafah Bachari Manna added her perspective with a beautiful speech regarding the misconceptions about the subservience (or not!) of Muslim women and a tribute to her mother, grandmothers and aunts who came before her. And finally Dr. Elora Shehabuddin of Rice University gave a talk on misconceptions about Islam and Muslim women in particular. This was followed by the sound of a cannon and the Adhan, the Muslim call to prayer.

We then went into the hall to break the fast with dates and chai, this was followed by the evening or Maghreb prayer. Then we went to assigned tables where there were at least two Muslim women. The idea was that these women would head the table and lead the table in discussions around their unique life experiences. Our table actually discussed everything from the weather, to the best places to live, to our individual careers and interests – just like any other group of women geting together for the first time! The favorite topic, however, was the incredible food. This was a feast full of food representing typical Ramadan foods from all over the world. Lentil soup, rose-infused juice/tea, nuts, rice, chicken, kebab, dolma, salad, eggplant, two types of bread, sweets, etc. We were ready to pop by the end of it!

At the end of it this was a beautiful evening that I would highly recommend in which “women of all faiths will unite to celebrate and honor Muslim women’s contributions to the arts, sciences, religious and academic scholarship, politics and everyday life.” Ramadan Mubarak!!

Last night I held my first Sacred Women’s Circle. An amazing group of women gathered in a cozy office away from the heat, humidity and traffic of the city. We gathered this month to talk about Creativity. We lit a candle, went over groundrules, played some appropriate music and got started!

We talked about creativity, our beliefs about it, and our own insecurities about our own creativity. I believe everyone is creative, but often we are taught in the standard education system not to be. I brought up some stories from a book I had been reading called: A Whack on the Side of the Head: How You Can Be More Creative. In this book, Roger Von Oech describe 10 “locks” that lock us out of our innate creativity. These locks range from the belief that there is only one right answer, the idea that we can’t break the rules to it’s not OK to be foolish or make mistakes. Do you relate to any of these? Probably most of us do!

I had set out an assortment unrelated items and everyone picked one. The assignment was to list what it could be used for other than its normal use or write a poem or story about it. Wow, once we got over the hump, the juices were flowing! We had a closing reading from Sarah Ban Breathnach’s Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. We then finished with tea, cookies and chit-chat!

I think it is so important for women to be able to gather together away from children, husbands, jobs, etc. and be with each other. We can let our defenses down, be ourselves and share joys and pain. If you don’t have a place to do this, I strongly suggest you find one or create your own. You won’t be disappointed!

Peace and Blessings,

Rev. Tricia