I’m often asked – what is an Interfaith minister? My short answer is that as someone who has studied and has an understanding of all the faiths, I can more easily minister to people from their own viewpoint. While I have my own personal spiritual path, I can work with someone from their own path without the need to convince them of my way or convert them to another way. I believe that we are unique individuals and God, Spirit, Allah, the Universe, etc. speaks to us in many ways. Different ways resonate with different people, and so they can follow a path that leads to the Divine that works for them. The director of my seminary, Rev. Diane Berke states:

“The implications of the“>A Course In Miracles” teaches that a universal theology is impossible, but that a universal experience is not only possible but necessary if we are to awaken from the dream of separation that has led to so much suffering. Experience is the realm of practice, and it is here that we can truly meet and enrace one another as brothers and sisters.

It is my sincere hope that this manual will be a support for you on your journey. And may the fruits of our individual and collective practice be of benefit to all living beings, and to the earth.”

Blessings,

Rev. Tricia

I love this video from William Ury, the guy who wrote, “Getting to Yes” in which he describes the secret to peace.

He mentions how in any argument or conflict, there are two sides. The surrounding community is the third element in any disagreement. The community can remind the other two what exactly is at stake – it is easy to lose perspective when we are involved in conflict. “When angry you will make the best speech you will ever regret!” We must see the bigger picture and the third side can help to do that.

Where’s the third side in the Middle East conflict – he proposes a first step towards this. He proposes that Abraham is the third side – the common factor in this conflict. And Abraham stood for the unity of the family – the interconnectedness of it all and his basic value was Respect – kindness and hospitality to all.

Terrorism is taking a stranger and and treating them like an enemy and killing them; the opposite is taking a total stranger and treating them as a friend. What do you think of the solution he proposes at the end? Taking a walk with Abraham as the common identity.

Here is a link to this solution: http://www.abrahampath.org/about.php

Head over to www.charterforcompassion and join us!

One of my missions in life is to help spread peace on earth – I believe that the way to do this is to learn about people who are different from us and not judge things we don’t understand or agree with. This is a big reason why I became an Interfaith Minister.

The charter for compassion was created with the idea that we need more compassion in this world and towards each other. I hope you will find it important enough to sign along with the rest of us!

Peace and Blessings to all of you!

Rev. Tricia

I just wanted to share this beautiful video created by several Interfaith Ministers from different seminaries. Remember what we can do together!

Remember to keep peace in your heart!

Love and Bliss,
Rev. Trish

Last night I attended the Interfaith Women’s Ramadan Iftar hosted by Brigid’s Place and Christ Church Cathedral. This was a wonderful dinner in which a variety of women came together to share a meal and discuss both commonalities and differences.

It began with a short program in the church. Opening remarks were made by Muffie Moroney, the representative from Christ Church Cathedral. This was followed by a short history of the iftar presented by  Maida Asofsky.  She shared how the tradition began as a Seder with Jewish women heading each table and in the past few years the iftar was added. Kafah Bachari Manna added her perspective with a beautiful speech regarding the misconceptions about the subservience (or not!) of Muslim women and a tribute to her mother, grandmothers and aunts who came before her. And finally Dr. Elora Shehabuddin of Rice University gave a talk on misconceptions about Islam and Muslim women in particular. This was followed by the sound of a cannon and the Adhan, the Muslim call to prayer.

We then went into the hall to break the fast with dates and chai, this was followed by the evening or Maghreb prayer. Then we went to assigned tables where there were at least two Muslim women. The idea was that these women would head the table and lead the table in discussions around their unique life experiences. Our table actually discussed everything from the weather, to the best places to live, to our individual careers and interests – just like any other group of women geting together for the first time! The favorite topic, however, was the incredible food. This was a feast full of food representing typical Ramadan foods from all over the world. Lentil soup, rose-infused juice/tea, nuts, rice, chicken, kebab, dolma, salad, eggplant, two types of bread, sweets, etc. We were ready to pop by the end of it!

At the end of it this was a beautiful evening that I would highly recommend in which “women of all faiths will unite to celebrate and honor Muslim women’s contributions to the arts, sciences, religious and academic scholarship, politics and everyday life.” Ramadan Mubarak!!

Conflict is a normal part of life, and while it is definitely uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. It can be an opportunity for personal spiritual and emotional growth as well as for strengthening the relationship it is occurring within.

What exactly is conflict? Conflict appears when our needs, opinions or perceptions clash with someone else’s needs, opinions or perceptions. Our ego becomes threatened, and we try to protect what we believe to be right and wrong, our opinion about what should happen next or our sense of entitlement to get what we want.

Many times this feels to us like a personal attack. Many of us develop responses to these attacks as children – this is simply the ego attempting to keep us safe. So then even as adults, our natural instinct may be to attack, to run, or to stick our head in the sand and ignore it.

These responses feel comfortable to us because that is what we know; but, at the same time they are not a positive experience.

This really isn’t an unusual response to conflict – most people would rather not deal with it. However, the benefits can be dramatic. So what are some things we can do to at least handle conflict more skillfully, so that both partners consider it a “Win”; and even better, we experience a strengthening in our spiritual and emotional growth?

Practical tips for dealing with conflict with family members, friends and co-workers, including the following:

1. Focus on the positive.

There is usually a benefit that can be found in this conflict – the “silver lining” so to speak. It may clear the air of confusion or incorrect expectations; it can also help you determine clearly the next steps that need to occur.

2. Find something that you both agree on.

You might think there isn’t anything, but there is. It might be a small part of what’s going on, but it’s there. Make sure to find it.

3. Take ownership of your part in the conflict.

Most likely there is a part of the conflict that is yours; it’s highly unlikely that there is no part of this that you can be accountable for – own up to it.

4. Active Listening

This is probably the toughest step. Much has been written on how to do active listening. The bottom line is to truly listen to the other person while keeping you mind open and without judgment or thoughts of what you are going to say next.

5. Express Needs.

Conflict is usually occurring because perceived needs are not met. It is important that each party lay these needs out on the table so that there is transparency and understanding of what each person needs.

6. Reach Understanding.

Once the above steps have been done, it will be much clearer how to proceed. By this point, often a solution has already come to the surface or at least the next step can be agreed upon.

In a romantic relationship, conflict can lead to divorce. Between political factions, differences can lead to war. But when these conflicts are openly acknowledged and addressed, it can be a powerful catalyst for growth and healing and can lead to creative solutions that deepen intimacy and strengthen bonds between people.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is owner of The Blissful Soul, an organization dedicated to healing and helping people live in peace and joy with themselves and others: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com.