This is a beautiful video of how things can be when we work together rather than compete or view others as “The Other” – hope you enjoy it on this happy Easter morning!

I love this video from William Ury, the guy who wrote, “Getting to Yes” in which he describes the secret to peace.

He mentions how in any argument or conflict, there are two sides. The surrounding community is the third element in any disagreement. The community can remind the other two what exactly is at stake – it is easy to lose perspective when we are involved in conflict. “When angry you will make the best speech you will ever regret!” We must see the bigger picture and the third side can help to do that.

Where’s the third side in the Middle East conflict – he proposes a first step towards this. He proposes that Abraham is the third side – the common factor in this conflict. And Abraham stood for the unity of the family – the interconnectedness of it all and his basic value was Respect – kindness and hospitality to all.

Terrorism is taking a stranger and and treating them like an enemy and killing them; the opposite is taking a total stranger and treating them as a friend. What do you think of the solution he proposes at the end? Taking a walk with Abraham as the common identity.

Here is a link to this solution: http://www.abrahampath.org/about.php

Rest In Peace

by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
inspired by the poems of Thich Nhat Hanh

I am a World Trade Center tower, standing tall in the clear blue sky, feeling a violent blow in my side, and
I am a towering inferno of pain and suffering imploding upon myself and collapsing to the ground.
May I rest in peace.

I am a terrified passenger on a hijacked airplane not knowing where we are going or that I am riding on fuel tanks that will be instruments of death, and
I am a worker arriving at my office not knowing that in just a moment my future will be obliterated.
May I rest in peace.

I am a pigeon in the plaza between the two towers eating crumbs from someone’s breakfast when fire rains down on me from the skies, and
I am a bed of flowers admired daily by thousands of tourists now buried under five stories of rubble.
May I rest in peace.

I am a firefighter sent into dark corridors of smoke and debris on a mission of mercy only to have it collapse around me, and
I am a rescue worker risking my life to save lives who is very aware that I may not make it out alive.
May I rest in peace.

I am a survivor who has fled down the stairs and out of the building to safety who knows that nothing will ever be the same in my soul again, and
I am a doctor in a hospital treating patients burned from head to toe who knows that these horrible images will remain in my mind forever.
May I know peace.

I am a tourist in Times Square looking up at the giant TV screens thinking I’m seeing a disaster movie as I watch the Twin Towers crash to the ground, and
I am a New York woman sending e-mails to friends and family letting them know that I am safe.
May I know peace.

I am a piece of paper that was on someone’s desk this morning and now I’m debris scattered by the wind across lower Manhattan, and
I am a stone in the graveyard at Trinity Church covered with soot from the buildings that once stood proudly above me, death meeting death.
May I rest in peace.

I am a dog sniffing in the rubble for signs of life, doing my best to be of service, and
I am a blood donor waiting in line to make a simple but very needed contribution for the victims.
May I know peace.

I am a resident in an apartment in downtown New York who has been forced to evacuate my home, and
I am a resident in an apartment uptown who has walked 100 blocks home in a stream of other refugees.
May I know peace.

I am a family member who has just learned that someone I love has died, and
I am a pastor who must comfort someone who has suffered a heart-breaking loss.
May I know peace.

I am a loyal American who feels violated and vows to stand behind any military action it takes to wipe terrorists off the face of the earth, and
I am a loyal American who feels violated and worries that people who look and sound like me are all going to be blamed for this tragedy.
May I know peace.

I am a frightened city dweller who wonders whether I’ll ever feel safe in a skyscraper again, and
I am a pilot who wonders whether there will ever be a way to make the skies truly safe.
May I know peace.

I am the owner of a small store with five employees that has been put out of business by this tragedy, and
I am an executive in a multinational corporation who is concerned about the cost of doing business in a terrorized world.
May I know peace.

I am a visitor to New York City who purchases postcards of the World Trade Center Twin Towers that are no more, and
I am a television reporter trying to put into words the terrible things I have seen.
May I know peace.

I am a boy in New Jersey waiting for a father who will never come home, and
I am a boy in a faraway country rejoicing in the streets of my village because someone has hurt the hated Americans.
May I know peace.

I am a general talking into the microphones about how we must stop the terrorist cowards who have perpetrated this heinous crime, and
I am an intelligence officer trying to discern how such a thing could have happened on American soil, and
I am a city official trying to find ways to alleviate the suffering of my people.
May I know peace.

I am a terrorist whose hatred for America knows no limit and I am willing to die to prove it, and
I am a terrorist sympathizer standing with all the enemies of American capitalism and imperialism, and
I am a master strategist for a terrorist group who planned this abomination.
My heart is not yet capable of openness, tolerance, and loving.
May I know peace.

I am a citizen of the world glued to my television set, fighting back my rage and despair at these horrible events, and
I am a person of faith struggling to forgive the unforgivable, praying for the consolation of those who have lost loved ones, calling upon the merciful beneficence of God/Yahweh/Allah/Spirit/Higher Power.
May I know peace.

I am a child of God who believes that we are all children of God and we are all part of each other.
May we all know peace.

Conflict is a normal part of life, and while it is definitely uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. It can be an opportunity for personal spiritual and emotional growth as well as for strengthening the relationship it is occurring within.

What exactly is conflict? Conflict appears when our needs, opinions or perceptions clash with someone else’s needs, opinions or perceptions. Our ego becomes threatened, and we try to protect what we believe to be right and wrong, our opinion about what should happen next or our sense of entitlement to get what we want.

Many times this feels to us like a personal attack. Many of us develop responses to these attacks as children – this is simply the ego attempting to keep us safe. So then even as adults, our natural instinct may be to attack, to run, or to stick our head in the sand and ignore it.

These responses feel comfortable to us because that is what we know; but, at the same time they are not a positive experience.

This really isn’t an unusual response to conflict – most people would rather not deal with it. However, the benefits can be dramatic. So what are some things we can do to at least handle conflict more skillfully, so that both partners consider it a “Win”; and even better, we experience a strengthening in our spiritual and emotional growth?

Practical tips for dealing with conflict with family members, friends and co-workers, including the following:

1. Focus on the positive.

There is usually a benefit that can be found in this conflict – the “silver lining” so to speak. It may clear the air of confusion or incorrect expectations; it can also help you determine clearly the next steps that need to occur.

2. Find something that you both agree on.

You might think there isn’t anything, but there is. It might be a small part of what’s going on, but it’s there. Make sure to find it.

3. Take ownership of your part in the conflict.

Most likely there is a part of the conflict that is yours; it’s highly unlikely that there is no part of this that you can be accountable for – own up to it.

4. Active Listening

This is probably the toughest step. Much has been written on how to do active listening. The bottom line is to truly listen to the other person while keeping you mind open and without judgment or thoughts of what you are going to say next.

5. Express Needs.

Conflict is usually occurring because perceived needs are not met. It is important that each party lay these needs out on the table so that there is transparency and understanding of what each person needs.

6. Reach Understanding.

Once the above steps have been done, it will be much clearer how to proceed. By this point, often a solution has already come to the surface or at least the next step can be agreed upon.

In a romantic relationship, conflict can lead to divorce. Between political factions, differences can lead to war. But when these conflicts are openly acknowledged and addressed, it can be a powerful catalyst for growth and healing and can lead to creative solutions that deepen intimacy and strengthen bonds between people.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is owner of The Blissful Soul, an organization dedicated to healing and helping people live in peace and joy with themselves and others: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com.