In any spiritual path one follows, inevitably, the idea of letting go rears its head. Why is it so important? Why is it so difficult? We can face this conundrum in a myriad of ways. Not only on our own path, but also when dealing with others  – for example when we are dealing with other people, we must approach them free of expectations and requirements; in many forms of meditation, we are asked to let our thoughts go as they appear; in counseling sessions, we must let go of preconceived projections and outcomes.

What are some of the things we need to let go of? Well, the list is infinite, but here’s some food for thought: shame, guilt, fear, anger, bad relationships, expectations, grief, resistance, dependency…

And through all of this letting go, the mind is clinging with fierce determination to what it knows. “The devil you know is better (safer) than the devil you don’t!” we exclaim. The dangerous unknown lurks in front of us like an abysmal hole. The purpose of the mind or Ego is to keep us safe – that part of ourselves will do whatever it takes to accomplish its mission of keeping us safe from harm – and what could be more unsafe than the unknown or change? However, a full cup cannot be filled with something new – it must be emptied first.  Let go!

If we can allow ourselves to open up with grace (or without, as the case may be) and trust to the unknown and something different, what we find is a whole new world of options and possibilities. The Divine has more in store for us than we can imagine for ourselves, but our job is to have faith and let go!

The question is how? How can we let go when our “monkey mind” is clinging tight to its vine? There are 5 simple steps to easing into faith and “letting go and letting God”:

1.    Label that part of yourself that is afraid. Give it a name and make it as real in your mind as possible. This gives you something to focus on.

2.    Let it express its fear through journaling or meditation.

3.    Speak to it gently as you would a frightened child. Don’t dismiss it – it will only cry louder!

4.    Get silent and still so that you can hear the still, small voice within – this is what will tell you your next step, if any.

5.    Breathe! It is so important during these times of change to remember to breathe.

By giving voice to your fears, you allow that voice to know it’s being listened to. Only then can it begin to be comforted. Then the monkey can finally let go of that vine – that’s the only way you’ll be able to catch the next vine – much like a trapeze artist, in order to catch one trapeze the artist must let go of the one they are holding and trust that the one they need will be where it needs to be when they let go.

Remember that when a window is closed, a door is opened. Go ahead, close that window! Let go and live life!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is owner of The Blissful Soul, an organization dedicated to healing and helping people live in peace and joy with themselves and others: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com.

Conflict is a normal part of life, and while it is definitely uncomfortable, it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. It can be an opportunity for personal spiritual and emotional growth as well as for strengthening the relationship it is occurring within.

What exactly is conflict? Conflict appears when our needs, opinions or perceptions clash with someone else’s needs, opinions or perceptions. Our ego becomes threatened, and we try to protect what we believe to be right and wrong, our opinion about what should happen next or our sense of entitlement to get what we want.

Many times this feels to us like a personal attack. Many of us develop responses to these attacks as children – this is simply the ego attempting to keep us safe. So then even as adults, our natural instinct may be to attack, to run, or to stick our head in the sand and ignore it.

These responses feel comfortable to us because that is what we know; but, at the same time they are not a positive experience.

This really isn’t an unusual response to conflict – most people would rather not deal with it. However, the benefits can be dramatic. So what are some things we can do to at least handle conflict more skillfully, so that both partners consider it a “Win”; and even better, we experience a strengthening in our spiritual and emotional growth?

Practical tips for dealing with conflict with family members, friends and co-workers, including the following:

1. Focus on the positive.

There is usually a benefit that can be found in this conflict – the “silver lining” so to speak. It may clear the air of confusion or incorrect expectations; it can also help you determine clearly the next steps that need to occur.

2. Find something that you both agree on.

You might think there isn’t anything, but there is. It might be a small part of what’s going on, but it’s there. Make sure to find it.

3. Take ownership of your part in the conflict.

Most likely there is a part of the conflict that is yours; it’s highly unlikely that there is no part of this that you can be accountable for – own up to it.

4. Active Listening

This is probably the toughest step. Much has been written on how to do active listening. The bottom line is to truly listen to the other person while keeping you mind open and without judgment or thoughts of what you are going to say next.

5. Express Needs.

Conflict is usually occurring because perceived needs are not met. It is important that each party lay these needs out on the table so that there is transparency and understanding of what each person needs.

6. Reach Understanding.

Once the above steps have been done, it will be much clearer how to proceed. By this point, often a solution has already come to the surface or at least the next step can be agreed upon.

In a romantic relationship, conflict can lead to divorce. Between political factions, differences can lead to war. But when these conflicts are openly acknowledged and addressed, it can be a powerful catalyst for growth and healing and can lead to creative solutions that deepen intimacy and strengthen bonds between people.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You may, as long as you commit to leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, and include the following byline: This article was written by Patricia Selmo, an ordained Interfaith Minister, certified life coach, spiritual healer, teacher and guide. She is owner of The Blissful Soul, an organization dedicated to healing and helping people live in peace and joy with themselves and others: www.TheBlissfulSoul.com.